2013 – down the rabbit hole

John Tenniel's Alice (1865)

John Tenniel’s Alice (1865)

I hadn’t intended to do a year end post but I received a couple more email subscriptions recently and I’m surprised people are still noticing this blog so long after it has been lying dormant. So I thought I’d have a go and give myself a chance to reflect on the previous year.

2013 was a whirlwind year – I had, and still have, so many unfinished writing projects that blogging seemed like a luxury, an escape, even an excuse. So I stayed away, metaphorically and physically. In 2013, I had a three-month work stint elsewhere which required moving out of my rented flat. When I returned there was the search for a place to buy, to call my own. I have found a place, and am waiting for the process to follow through. In the meantime, I am lodging with a friend, in a small spare room, surrounded by my possessions, mostly boxed away, waiting to be let out for the next phase of life. What I have on hand are my computer, a few books that I dip into from time to time, and the bits and bobs needed for daily life – contact lenses, toiletries, clothes, socks. This experience is revealing how little one really needs to get by on a daily basis, and that’s without sacrificing any modern conveniences or implements.

The year was spent on the move but not really in flux. More like a transition. If the few years before were spent life editing and uncluttering, the past year was more like an affirmation that it was all worth it. And that all is okay in my world. I can be on the move but not flustered, in limbo but not lost. The astrology of the year has been intense but I feel like something at the core is settling now. It is worth remembering that Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland for all their mayhem ends with calm, contentment and peace.

Lastly, [Alice’s sister] pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
— Lewis Carroll, 1865

In 2014, I look forward to stopping a little and building a space, metaphorically and physically, a place to always come home to.

2012 — learning to live authentically

‘I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’

The Awakening Slave (1525–30), Michelangelo Buonarroti.

I thought I was done with Pluto when it crossed my Ascendant and completed its cycle through Sagittarius, but it turns out Pluto wasn’t done with me. Hitting a whole series of personal planets as it dug deep into my first house, and still only two-thirds of the way through, 2012 ends nowhere near where it began.

I could never have seen it coming, this end of the Mayan cycle, this end of my year, this return to self, to a sense of home. As a saying attributed to a Zen master goes:

Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and waters once again as waters.

A year ago, I was looking to possibly move jobs, towns, relationships. I felt the need for a shift, a change in energy and dynamic, but the shift was not to be found in events, or places, or other people. It was found, ironically, by being where I am — any movement has been internal, psychological, spiritual, emotional. I took a tip and ‘let go of my year’, and can only offer heartfelt thanks for the treasures that remain, return, and resurge anew.

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 22,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 5 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

2011 — stepping across the line

I’ve had so little time for this blog this year, I’m still amazed (and grateful) that people seem to still be subscribing to it…! Thank you!

2011 — what a year for everyone! In all, I would say that I’ve had a good one in spite of the chaos and anxiety swirling everywhere. I’ve tried to stay centred, to not get caught up with other people’s crises, and by and large I’ve succeeded.

Looking back, 2011 has been a year where I’ve tried to put the lessons of the past few years into practice — not simply to discard, or run from, what I didn’t want, but to articulate what I did. To step across the line and be counted, even if only within myself. What was I willing to put up with, what could I change, what are my politics, my values, who did I want to be? Who do I want to be with?

The Uranus-Pluto square in the coming year promises more upheaval, but after the last two eclipses in Sagittarius and Gemini, I have no fear of coming through the other side.

My resolution for 2012 is that it is okay not to have a resolution. Just be yourselves. Happy new year, all.

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 28,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 17 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 237 posts. There were 5 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 67kb.

The busiest day of the year was March 10th with 281 views. The most popular post that day was Happiness is ….

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were astrodispatch.com, libraseekingbalance.com, cafeastrology.com, juliedemboski.wordpress.com, and realastrologers.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for vesta, theodore gericault, delacroix, sex and zen, and elvira mistress of the dark.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


Happiness is … March 2010


Controlled chaos, or thoughts on the Saturn-Uranus opposition September 2008


Sex and Zen I: Vesta March 2008


The mad woman leaves the attic October 2009

2010 — self-alignment

The cardinal cross of 2010 has been good to me on many levels, though it hasn’t been by any means easy. Occurring in the angular houses of my chart, it has become evident as I look back on the year that 2010 has been for me a series of lessons on aligning my inner self with my outer world. It has been about learning to be comfortable in my own skin, but also about creating environments — physical, social, emotional — that resonate well with my instincts.

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2009 — through the looking-glass

What is there left to say about 2009 I haven’t already done? (See archive on sidebar!) 2008 ended with a measure of optimism, 2009 is ending with a measure of relief. tPluto square nPluto, tPluto opposite nVenus, tSaturn conjunct nPluto, Jupiter, my chart ruler playing hide-and-seek all year with Chiron and Neptune as part of Lucy’s Clusterfuck of Doom, and so on and so forth, haven’t by any means been fun, but they have been ultimately revealing.

The bumpiest ride since my Saturn return — just over one seven-year Saturn cycle since then — has undoubtedly been uncomfortable, but I think it’s also done the job of shaking loose more bits of old baggage. None of those cycles are yet complete but I look forward to entering 2010 lighter and leaner (meaner, too?). Looking ahead to the fact that nearly all the eclipses in the coming year make contact with a personal planet or node in my natal chart, I suspect that 2009 was merely the preamble to further changes in 2010.

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