New Moon in my 1st house: Introducing Saturn (and Pluto) Girl
19 December 2009 8 Comments
Mystic Medusa has been referring to Saturn Girl, a comic book character from the 1950s that was revived in the 1990s, as an archetype to model ourselves against as we learn the lessons of Saturn’s transit through Libra in the next two and the half years. I’m borrowing that reference today to address some new moon revelations.
The recent New Moon in Sagittarius occurred in my 1st house of self (see astrogrrl’s ‘The New Moon in Houses’), followed shortly by transiting Venus across my Ascendant squaring Uranus in Pisces in near my IC. The news I encountered was unexpected but it helped crystallise something.
I wrote last year about a re-encounter with an ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended in 2002. I wrote that he had tried to re-kindle a cyber-sexual relationship which I’d played along with for a time but put a stop to when I failed to establish and communicate proper boundaries (this will have to be my Saturn in Libra lesson for the next two years). That hasn’t stopped him from trying every few months or so — each time I’ve ignored the messages, always fearful of my capacity for angry words, always believing (naively) that because I keep my space open, people ‘ought to’ respect it.
Well, yesterday, I found out from a mutual friend that Mr Ex had in fact re-married two to three years ago. So what the sick f*** was he doing angling after me these past two to three years? The last email message from him (‘Hi, what are your holiday plans? I still think about you…’ and so on) in fact came in a day before I heard the news. I had planned to ignore the email, as I have been doing in the past, but I did some thinking today, and sought some advice, and decided that ignoring these leeches was what was giving them the space to crap on. Spurred on by the recent assertions of several astro-blogging friends, including Neeti Ray, and Donna Cunningham, I realised that silence was no longer an option.
I decided to speak, and did, but not in anger, as I would’ve been wont to do when I was much younger (and less wise…). Angry words weren’t going to help, because anger denoted engagement, and anger was going to be too easily typified as the lunatic rantings of a madwoman. At any rate, I am unable to speak the anger I no longer feel. What I did feel was cold, even numb, so I channelled that feeling into a business-like, even bland, note (Mercury is preparing for a retrograde in Capricorn now) acknowledging the news I’d heard and simple congratulations. Nothing more needed to be said.
I wanted not to engage, but to deflect and detach. I no longer wished to be ‘right’ and win the moral high ground, I just want to be left the energy and space for more worthwhile pursuits. Another prod came by way of Elsa P.’s post on the Venus-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn that will take place shortly after Christmas:
Invest in and protect your valuable relationships and for Godsakes quit throwing money (energy of all kinds) into people and things who siphon resources and offer no return.
That is my plan beginning with this new moon which in my 1st house represents the start of my cosmic new year, with the help of the upcoming Mars retrograde in my 8th house of other people’s resources. Pluto is transiting my 1st house too, with Saturn transiting the 10th. It is time to own my power (Pluto) and yet channel it responsibly (Saturn). So, for the record, as of today, I am sticking up a sign on my psychic porch saying:
Sick fucks, KEEP OUT.
Friends and well-wishers are, of course, most welcome.
Image: Saturn Girl, 2005 incarnation.