Projection: Channelling by proxy
12 May 2009
I was musing the last time about MV reading deception into what, to me, are neutral requests or statements. There is no better time than while Mercury is retrograde in Gemini to try and review this process.
What MV appears to project onto my speech and actions are those of the women who have hurt him in the past — his ex-wife, psycho ex-girlfriend, and I dare say, his mother. (Interestingly, the current Merc rx is trine his natal Moon and square his natal Mercury). It becomes quite evident when he imposes an interpretation on what I say, without clarifying, and then proceeds to defend against what he perceives to be my manipulative intentions.
Here’s a sample conversation, verbatim:
MV: Do you want a ride home?
Me: Sure, thanks.
[We reach my place.]
Me: Do you want to come up for coffee?
MV: Is that a ruse?
In milder instance like this one, I feign offence and make a joke of it, in less innocuous instances, I would react in anger and betrayal and thus allow him to feed that energy.
These days I catch myself out a bit earlier and try not to react, or if I do react, I pull back quickly. I believe that people are entitled to their own neuroses! Or put more elegantly and kindly, it is important to allow people the dignity of their destiny.
But this can only happen if I am very clear about my own positionality in the matter: that is, when I am actually being addressed as me for myself, and when I am channelling by proxy all the hurt and betrayal of the other’s past by simply being there.
Updated, later on 12 May 2009: Thanks to Julie Demboski for the excellent astrological analysis , via the Neptune-Chiron conjunction, of exactly what I’m trying to articulate, and also for the link!
Image: The Stepford Wives, 1975 poster.