Projection: Who I’m not
10 May 2009 4 Comments
In a moment of synchronicity, I read Julie Demboski’s take on ‘Receiving Venus’ very shortly after having one of my impossible conversations with the Mercury in Virgo person (hereafter known as ‘MV’) in my life, though I didn’t allow it to escalate this time.
His Venus falls in my 7th house (as does mine, so the propensity for double projection is definitely there) and here’s what Demboski writes of receiving someone else’s Venus in one’s 7th house, the house of partnerships and projection:
Someone else’s Venus falling in your 7th House gives an interesting effect: there is a kind of projection, where you are drawn to the Venus person, and they to you, and it becomes difficult to tell who is the ‘instigator’ of the energy. Because of this ‘is it you, or is it me?’ exchange, the relationship can devolve into a mutual admiration society that eventually just fizzles away. You’d think it would create a strong attraction, a bond of love and natural assumption that this could be the mate, and sometimes it does, usually when everyone’s owning their own energies and projection and dissociation aren’t issues.
I am trying to learn to have conversation with MV without projecting or being projected on, and this Mercury retrograde is as good a time to do so as any.
My own projections notwithstanding, I can’t seem to ask MV for anything simple — a lift to the hardware store, a coffee break, a weekend film — without being insinuated of subtle manipulation, of trapping him (to what, I don’t know) by stealth. That my Venus is in his 10th seems to project his confusion, from Demboski again:
Another’s Venus in your 10th makes the whole thing public, and perhaps career-oriented. It may be hard to tell whether the good feelings are from the other person, or from the boost they give to your status. This may be the placement of a generous ‘boss,’ or the mate may remind you of one or the other parent.
If I thought it would help, I would say: ‘Not every woman is your ex-wife, your psycho ex-girlfriend, or your mother.’ Sometimes a coffee is just a coffee, and not a secretly-laid trap for sex or marriage. But I have been trying to internalise the pre-conditions of Right Speech for a while now, and even without Mercury retrograde, I can tell speaking out in this instance is not a good idea. Being able to say it here on the blog helps though, and a way of ‘owning my own energies’.
Besides, one can’t really control anyone else’s perception, only hope that by being oneself long enough one eventually gets seen. There is no other option really. Or as Oscar Wilde said:
Be yourself. Everyone is already taken.
Image: Evil Queen and her Magic Mirror from Disney’s Snow White.