24 November 2008 2 Comments
During my gestalt weekend, it was put to the group that one of the premises of gestalt therapy is that human beings have an innate will to completion. That is, when faced with an incomplete pattern, or ‘unfinished business’, the subject has an inherent desire to close the circuit. While anxiety may be alleviated by putting some of these unfinished business to bed, anxiety may equally arise if undue stress is placed upon completing patterns for which no completion is forthcoming. For instance, missing out on the opportunity to ‘put things right’ with a parent before s/he dies.
‘What if completion is impossible?’ someone asked the therapist. She replied:
Then accept that endings are messy.
I was faced with the stark reality of one such ending today, with the realisation that something has ended, but not in the way I would have wanted, or expected. Nevertheless, end it did, and must, and if I’m honest, what’s swept away can only clear the path for something much clearer, and cleaner, too.
Could my psychic broom have come out earlier? Perhaps, but, equally, it might not have worked in the way I wanted it to. Mickey found out the hard way, and, frequently, so must we all.