The mad woman leaves the attic

My Sun-Mercury-Saturn in Gemini and Moon in Capricorn frequently struggle to understand insanity. I don’t mean clinical insanity (though maybe it’s not exempt!), but the calculated insanity imposed upon moderate people — crazy-makers, rather than crazy people per se. Just look at all the loonies shouting and crying out against Obama’s ‘death panels’ and ‘socialism’. The more reasonable he tries to be, the more hysterical they become. My theory is that this is one public manifestation of the current Saturn (reason) and Uranus (unpredictability) opposition. Much has been said about how Uranus (maverick) will break the shackles of Saturn (tradition), but I think the other view is highly plausible as well. Oppositions seek out balance after all, and it is the balance between the two that we must find. However, that’s not quite the subject of today’s post.

A Mad Woman (Eugene Delacroix 1822)

A Mad Woman (Eugene Delacroix 1822)

The more I get through life, the more I wonder whether the crazies will always capture the space simply because they shout louder and the adrenalin carries them further than the reasoned moderates who simply get tired and want to hide under a rock.

I mean, isn’t my turn to Buddhism, to astrology, to psychotherapy an attempt to maintain some sanity in a crazy world? But I sometimes suspect my secret fear is going mad myself. In other words, while I watch others perform their madness, I am not entirely certain of my own sanity. It doesn’t help that Mercury/Geminis are frequently too open to suggestion — Is it X or is it Y? Or maybe Z? Or all three!

I had an ex who had two psycho ex-es (yeah, you think I’d have picked up the signals earlier). You know, the sort of woman who would make a scene in public, scream and shout and throw carrots at the supermarket. No, I’m not exaggerating. At the point of splitting up, I wondered what was so desirable about them that he tried to stay with them (for a while at least) and what was so undesirable about poor level-headed, no-drama me? Then I realised, that’s precisely what he’s doing, albeit unconsciously, making me question my sanity, and many a time I did feel as if I was going mad. However, I’m glad to report that I left way before the carrot-flinging stage. I abhor public scenes.

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Projection: Who I’m not

snow white mirror In a moment of synchronicity, I read Julie Demboski’s take on ‘Receiving Venus’ very shortly after having one of my impossible conversations with the Mercury in Virgo person (hereafter known as ‘MV’) in my life, though I didn’t allow it to escalate this time.

His Venus falls in my 7th house (as does mine, so the propensity for double projection is definitely there) and here’s what Demboski writes of receiving someone else’s Venus in one’s 7th house, the house of partnerships and projection:

Someone else’s Venus falling in your 7th House gives an interesting effect: there is a kind of projection, where you are drawn to the Venus person, and they to you, and it becomes difficult to tell who is the ‘instigator’ of the energy. Because of this ‘is it you, or is it me?’ exchange, the relationship can devolve into a mutual admiration society that eventually just fizzles away. You’d think it would create a strong attraction, a bond of love and natural assumption that this could be the mate, and sometimes it does, usually when everyone’s owning their own energies and projection and dissociation aren’t issues.

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Invisibility vs. transparency

1126222_fresh Emerging from my recent musings about invisibility, it occurred to me that there is an important distinction between invisibility and transparency. While the invisible object cannot be seen, the transparent object can be clearly discerned, even as it is looked through. Glass is transparent, as is water. Air is invisible. You can walk through one, but not the other, not without noticing anyway.

Sheldon Kopp, psychotherapist and author of that strange and profound book, If You Meet Buddha on the Road, Kill Him! (see also), writes that the best way for a therapist to help a patient is not to tell the patient how to be but for the therapist to learn to be transparent, to the patient and to himself, in order for the relation to do its transformative work:

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Adventures of the Invisible Girl


While I’m still mulling over issues of projection, I thought I would try and make some sense of my apparent invisibility. I mentioned this once to Mercury in Virgo (MV, from now), that I often felt like I was an understudy for a role I didn’t ask to play. He retorted by saying that I wasn’t so much treated as an understudy as audition for it.

I’m still trying to make sense of that comment, for as far as I am able to assess my behaviour, I’m pretty assertive. I make my views heard, send emails, offer opinions and such, but apparently my presence is either undetected or filtered through a fog. Is it because Neptune (illusion) opposes my Sun (presence)? Who knows? The question is, what to do about it.

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Now you see me, now you don’t

One of the reasons I really like Elsa P’s blog is that she relates aspects in the natal chart very directly and pithily to human behaviour. She writes quite a bit on Neptune aspects which I find fascinating and illuminating. Neptune is in my 12th house and often I find that I can’t quite get a grasp on it, much less try and direct the energy in a way that is useful.

Recently, Elsa blogged about ‘People who forget how much they like you … Venus Neptune the most likely culprit’, and I nearly jumped out of my chair. She puts it down to Neptune’s effect (dissolving, hallucinatory) on Venus (likeability and value). Here’s part of the post:

Here is another weird thing that happens in and around me with that Neptune action. It is very easy for people to forget they like me. They also can forget they don’t like me, I’ll get to that next. But on this other, there are people who like me, maybe even like me a lot, maybe they even love me but they lose track of this somehow and treat me like crap!

This leads to separation of course at which point with a little time, say an hour or a year depending, they think back and say, ya know. I really liked that Elsa after all. I actually regret slitting her throat, what was I thinking?

At that point they come back in my life and I am understandably cagey. Will their brain leave them again? Probably.

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Mirror science

Following my two earlier posts about mirrors (here and here), I read with much interest this article from the New York Times discussing the scientific basis of perception distortions generated by mirrors. Here are some extracts:

To scientists, the simultaneous simplicity and complexity of mirrors make them powerful tools for exploring questions about perception and cognition in humans and other neuronally gifted species, and how the brain interprets and acts upon the great tides of sensory information from the external world. They are using mirrors to study how the brain decides what is self and what is other, how it judges distances and trajectories of objects, and how it reconstructs the richly three-dimensional quality of the outside world from what is essentially a two-dimensional snapshot taken by the retina’s flat sheet of receptor cells. They are applying mirrors in medicine, to create reflected images of patients’ limbs or other body parts and thus trick the brain into healing itself. Mirror therapy has been successful in treating disorders like phantom limb syndrome, chronic pain and post-stroke paralysis.

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Mirror-image twins

One fishI had lunch with a friend today and discovered for the first time that she is one half of a mirror-image twin. I’d never heard of the phenomenon before. She says that they are basically mirror images of each other.

Apparently it occurs when the embryo splits really late in the cycle and produces two individuals who are genetically identical but mirror images of each other. In my friend’s case, she’s right-handed while her sister is left-handed; they part their hair on opposite sides; the hair on their crowns are swirled in opposite directions; and their fingerprints are mirror images, too… I don’t know if this is true but she says a mirror-image twin sometimes has their organs on the ‘wrong’ side of the body as well!

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