1 October 2009 6 Comments
My Sun-Mercury-Saturn in Gemini and Moon in Capricorn frequently struggle to understand insanity. I don’t mean clinical insanity (though maybe it’s not exempt!), but the calculated insanity imposed upon moderate people — crazy-makers, rather than crazy people per se. Just look at all the loonies shouting and crying out against Obama’s ‘death panels’ and ‘socialism’. The more reasonable he tries to be, the more hysterical they become. My theory is that this is one public manifestation of the current Saturn (reason) and Uranus (unpredictability) opposition. Much has been said about how Uranus (maverick) will break the shackles of Saturn (tradition), but I think the other view is highly plausible as well. Oppositions seek out balance after all, and it is the balance between the two that we must find. However, that’s not quite the subject of today’s post.The more I get through life, the more I wonder whether the crazies will always capture the space simply because they shout louder and the adrenalin carries them further than the reasoned moderates who simply get tired and want to hide under a rock.
I mean, isn’t my turn to Buddhism, to astrology, to psychotherapy an attempt to maintain some sanity in a crazy world? But I sometimes suspect my secret fear is going mad myself. In other words, while I watch others perform their madness, I am not entirely certain of my own sanity. It doesn’t help that Mercury/Geminis are frequently too open to suggestion — Is it X or is it Y? Or maybe Z? Or all three!
I had an ex who had two psycho ex-es (yeah, you think I’d have picked up the signals earlier). You know, the sort of woman who would make a scene in public, scream and shout and throw carrots at the supermarket. No, I’m not exaggerating. At the point of splitting up, I wondered what was so desirable about them that he tried to stay with them (for a while at least) and what was so undesirable about poor level-headed, no-drama me? Then I realised, that’s precisely what he’s doing, albeit unconsciously, making me question my sanity, and many a time I did feel as if I was going mad. However, I’m glad to report that I left way before the carrot-flinging stage. I abhor public scenes.