A noodle story

I was watching a movie about noodles yesterday (seen it countless times, and it still always makes me hungry) and had a craving for some but didn’t have any. At lunch today, I fancied some noodles again but the nearest noodle bar was just that bit too far away. Third time lucky (in a manner of speaking), I went to my meditation group tonight, and they were unusually talkative — someone mentioned noodles.

Full Moon in Leo, or how Byron cured my busy work hangover

Byron, 1813-14, R. Westall (1765–1836)

So much has happened for me since the awaited solar eclipse of 15 January that I haven’t had time to process it all, much less try and write about it properly (sorry, Neeti!).

What I can say is there have been flashes of new beginnings for me, but it is too early to tell what they may spark or what shape they may take. Given that the solar eclipse new moon occurred close to my north node and natal Moon, I reckon that what changes it heralds will have to be processed emotionally. What it feels like following my ‘sleepy’ start to January is like the stuff I didn’t have the energy to get to just piled up behind a large hatch. At the eclipse, the hatch was released and all the stuff, junk and jewels both, tumbled out higgledy-piggledy in a crazy mess I’m still slowly trying to sort through.

Lunar eclipse conjunct Mars: Curtain call

One of the benefits of writing a blog is being able to go back and look at what you’ve written. I have been trying to put the New Year’s Eve lunar eclipse, which was conjunct my Mars, into words and I forgot that one of the eclipses in the summer of 2009 was also a few degrees away opposite my Mars. I wrote then that it felt like a lot of little lights were going out in my life.* This time around, with all the other stuff going on (Mercury and Mars retrogrades and so on), it doesn’t feel so much like lights going out, more like curtains being drawn. And the set for the next scene isn’t up yet.

The winter travel chaos in the UK have seen me hiding out at home for the past week since I got back from being away most of December. I spent New Year’s Eve alone at home (already spent Christmas with the family) — what better way to herald a Cancer eclipse? In fact, I slept through the countdown. And then as the first week of 2010 wore on, I realised that I was sleeping … and sleeping … and when I wasn’t eating or washing … I was sleeping.

Healing Pluto problems: Obsidian order, Walnut way

If you are currently experiencing the Pluto station at a sensitive point on your chart — it is currently square my natal Pluto, and opposite my natal Venus — it’s likely you’re feeling just a bit taut, like waiting for a shoe to fall, but not knowing if it’s going to be made of soft leather or hard concrete.

Detail of Pluto and Proserpina (It's stone!)

Pluto issues are deep and transformative (cellular, as I once put it) and healing them requires a genuine and concerted effort at looking inwards, and the courage to square with yourself, your desires and your fears, warts and all. Plutonians who choose to look away often end up projecting their shadow sides onto others, hurting themselves and loved ones in the process. I know a Plutonian (still) undergoing a tough Pluto transit who once asked me what the point of therapy was. He said, ‘What’s wrong with just getting on with life? Won’t therapy just raise things that are better hidden?’ My answer was: ‘Sure, you can just do that and time will pass and you will get older and die. But who do you hurt in the meantime? Do you want to live life awake or asleep?’ My questions were not meant to be rhetorical but he never answered them. As far as I can tell, he’s still sleepwalking.

Healing Pluto Problems

In honour of Pluto going direct on 11 September 2009, I thought I’d share some thoughts about Donna Cunningham‘s book, Healing Pluto Problems, whose title I’ve borrowed for the title of this post.

I picked up this book on Neith’s recommendation. It is not as heavy-going as Judy Hall’s Hades Moon, which I’ve written about here and also like for different reasons. Rather, Cunningham’s book contextualises Plutonian issues (deep transformation, sex, death, guilt, resentment and so on) in terms of the things one can do to mitigate their effects, whether one is the Plutonian or on the receiving end of one. And it could well be both — Plutonians tend to attract other Plutonians.

Being a Plutonian herself, Cunningham exhibits great empathy for the depth and intensity of Plutonian feelings. If there are ‘problems’ with being Plutonian, it is not the natures of Plutonians that are put on the line, only a lack of understanding (and resources) in wider society to address them. The book does not victimise Plutonian native either — each one is required to take responsibility for their own actions and feelings, and the author is quick to point out that the unevolved can quite easily turn their Plutonian power on others and themselves.

Day before the solar eclipse: Home retreat

Sitting on the bus on the way home from work this evening, it occurred to me that I would do a day retreat at home tomorrow, the day before the much anticipated Solar Eclipse in Cancer. For once, I’m going to put aside my guilt of never doing enough work (Sun-Merc-Saturn in the 6th house), and plan a day of meditation and yoga, a day of replenishment and reminders of what nourishes.

Call it a renewal ritual, if you like, given all that has been said of this eclipse as one of coming to terms with the past, of releasing old emotional baggage, and transmuting old hurts into future promise.

Grateful for zazen

The past few months have been rather trying, and while I can easily point to Pluto (see past few posts), ‘blaming’ the transits is missing the point. Life happens. Learning about Pluto is a means of understanding what’s happening. A means of coping with it is practice.

Having lost sight of our goals, we re-double our efforts!

I was listening this morning to a talk by Mark Lesser on ‘Doing Less’ (dated 1 March 2009), hosted on the San Francisco Zen Center website. He mentioned one of those pithy Zen sayings:

Having lost sight of our goals, we re-double our efforts.

If you build it, they will come

Nearly 20 years after its release, the signature phrase from Field of Dreams (1989) has entered the popular consciousness. Its message of hope and optimism may seem rather naive, or relevant (depending on one’s inclination), given the madness that we seem to be embroiled in today.

Pluto and the ‘alchemy of desire’

I recently stumbled upon this article by Elizabeth Spring called ‘What’s Pluto Got to Do With It? The Alchemy of Desire’. I like it for its clarity and personal nature, and yet that it does not over-simplify the experience of a Pluto transit which tends to impact individuals in complex ways. And even if one is unfamiliar with astrology, Spring’s observations are insightful in themselves.

Sitting with desire I

The cause of suffering, it is often cited of Buddhism, is desire, attachment or craving. We suffer because we crave what we (think we) don’t have. And we crave any number of things, both tangible and ephemeral — ice cream, a bigger house, a bigger car, someone to love us, we may even crave a more fulfilling spiritual life.

Treeleaf and time

A member of my local sangha recently drew my attention to an online Zendo (I hesitate to use the word ‘virtual’, because it is very real) called ‘Treeleaf‘. It is led by Jundo Cohen, a Zen teacher in the Soto lineage of Masters Eihei Dogen and Gudo Wafu Nishijima.