Spiked!

In these trying economic times, my workplace is becoming more and more toxic. So much fear and tension and anxiety about. Not to mention the hostility.

I’m noticing that when some people are threatened, they can throw out spikes from their energy fields, even when their words are officious and polite. The spikes can emanate even from an email — I can virtually feel it bristling.

I received one of those emails this morning and spent half the day dragging the negativity around with me until I was reminded to distinguish what was mine and what wasn’t. Judith Orloff offers some advice on how to separate one’s own emotions from others’, especially if you tend to absorb them like a sponge.

I read a blog post a long time ago (can’t seem to find it now) about the importance of remembering to ask the question: ‘Whose garbage is this and what is it doing in my bag?’ Whose garbage are we carrying around and why do we continue to do so?

In the days before the Taurus new moon, I feel the urge for a psychic spring clean.

Image source: Pufferfish, Wikimedia Commons

Hostage to emotion

My natal Moon in Capricorn wants to rant.

Every now and then I get sick of being told how closed off to emotion I am, and I accuse all those astrology textbooks describing people with Cap Moons as cold, brittle, harsh, and ambitious as being part of the conspiracy!

Speaking for my own Cap Moon, it frequently feels under siege by more feeling types who privilege the immediacy of their intuition and sensory knowledge over those of us who take longer to get there. It has become politically incorrect to make quick judgements about people who are slow with reading and writing; but it seems perfectly acceptable still to consider people slower to access their emotions as having none.

I’m sick of it.

Just because I don’t always express my emotions clearly doesn’t mean I don’t have them. It doesn’t mean anyone has the right to hurt me by insinuating I’m incomplete, damaged, or worst of all, dishonest. Sometimes it takes me two days before I even realise I’ve been hurt, and then they think I’m crazy for bringing it up two days after the event. I’m sick of it!

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Cancer Moon, oh Cancer Moon

I’ve had two fights — let’s call them ‘mutual displays of inner fragilities and fear’ — already. And it’s not even lunchtime.

Mystic Medusa’s advice on what not to do this full moon weekend is not inaccurate. I wish it could’ve been avoided. Happy Full Moon! I’m going to bake a cake or something and recuperate.

Image: Red Crabs (Wikimedia Commons).

Full moons: When ‘completion’ can mean many things!

I wanted a quiet 2010, but so far it’s been pretty turbulent. Not all bad, for sure, but turbulent. We’ve seen two major earthquakes within weeks, and without taking away any of the gravity of those events, I’m willing to bet that many people have been feeling quakes one way or another in their personal lives.

Since I’ve been tracking a few full moon experiences on this blog, I’m starting to find that something dramatic, and unexpected, nearly always happens. And every time, I am reminded that when people say full moons bring events and themes ‘to completion’, one never really know what form that’ll take until it happens.

Close to the previous Full Moon in Leo in late January (conjunct Mars), my Byronesque one, I was bringing to fruition a collaborative project with various partners. Our launch was planned for a date close to that Full Moon — and no, I didn’t pick the date for that reason, it was a group choice, and in that context, I don’t mention astrology. The evening before the launch, I get a call from our key guest speaker saying his flight had been cancelled and he would not be able to get into town on time. For various reasons I won’t go into detail here, I decided to fill in for him with an old presentation I gave to a different audience about a year ago. I hadn’t been scheduled to present that day at all. I had planned to be a behind-the-scenes organiser.

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A tale of two (work) cultures

Kermit as Bob Cratchit in A Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.

— Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859)

Once upon a time, there was an astro-blogger who tried to make sense of two very different work cultures she experienced while working for the same institution. Whether it was because she was born under the sign of the Twins, or that as a Gemini, she was more sensitive to dualities, she found, soon after she started her new job, that she would be working for two different bosses under two sub-groups within the larger organisation. As time went on, it became clear that the two managerial styles, and thus the group work cultures emerging from under them, could not be more opposed.

One was very Jupiterian (say Group 1) — forward- and outward-looking; the other very (almost too) Saturnian (say Group 2) — always cautious, always fearful, always looking over one’s shoulder. While the larger umbrella organisation was already itself Saturnian (Saturn rules institutions), there was never any danger that the Jupiterian culture of Group 1 would indulge itself excessively (this is the era of budget cuts after all); but it meant that the Saturnian culture of Group 2 found its own paranoia reinforced. Jupiterian optimism in Group 1 meant that meetings with them always ended up trying to look for positive ways to work around budget cuts and other limits, while still trying to maintain standards and produce results; and Saturnian caution in Group 2 meant that meetings with them always ended up listing all the things they could never achieve.

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New Moon in my 1st house: Introducing Saturn (and Pluto) Girl

Mystic Medusa has been referring to Saturn Girl, a comic book character from the 1950s that was revived in the 1990s, as an archetype to model ourselves against as we learn the lessons of Saturn’s transit through Libra in the next two and the half years. I’m borrowing that reference today to address some new moon revelations.

The recent New Moon in Sagittarius occurred in my 1st house of self (see astrogrrl’s ‘The New Moon in Houses’), followed shortly by transiting Venus across my Ascendant squaring Uranus in Pisces in near my IC. The news I encountered was unexpected but it helped crystallise something.

I wrote last year about a re-encounter with an ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended in 2002. I wrote that he had tried to re-kindle a cyber-sexual relationship which I’d played along with for a time but put a stop to when I failed to establish and communicate proper boundaries (this will have to be my Saturn in Libra lesson for the next two years). That hasn’t stopped him from trying every few months or so — each time I’ve ignored the messages, always fearful of my capacity for angry words, always believing (naively) that because I keep my space open, people ‘ought to’ respect it.

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Healing Pluto problems: Obsidian order, Walnut way

If you are currently experiencing the Pluto station at a sensitive point on your chart — it is currently square my natal Pluto, and opposite my natal Venus — it’s likely you’re feeling just a bit taut, like waiting for a shoe to fall, but not knowing if it’s going to be made of soft leather or hard concrete.

Detail of Pluto and Proserpina (1621-22)

Detail of Pluto and Proserpina (It's stone!)

Pluto issues are deep and transformative (cellular, as I once put it) and healing them requires a genuine and concerted effort at looking inwards, and the courage to square with yourself, your desires and your fears, warts and all. Plutonians who choose to look away often end up projecting their shadow sides onto others, hurting themselves and loved ones in the process. I know a Plutonian (still) undergoing a tough Pluto transit who once asked me what the point of therapy was. He said, ‘What’s wrong with just getting on with life? Won’t therapy just raise things that are better hidden?’ My answer was: ‘Sure, you can just do that and time will pass and you will get older and die. But who do you hurt in the meantime? Do you want to live life awake or asleep?’ My questions were not meant to be rhetorical but he never answered them. As far as I can tell, he’s still sleepwalking.

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