Cool it

Mr Rude What’s with the nastiness that’s going around these days? Is it the cardinal cross summer? Everyday on the news there someone shouting about something — Tea Party (not of the Alice kind), climate change denial, crazy road rage, peevish politicians, general random rudeness.

My workplace currently has battle-lines drawn down the middle (I’m staying clear of it) and people I know are in the most awful rows. The woman on the street who shouted ‘GOD LOVES YOU’ in my face had the nastiest scowl.

Sure, people are having a hard time — the screws seem to be tightening on different fronts — but there must be more productive ways to channel the nervous energy and ease the fear than stoke the fires of self-entitlement.

Will the early 21st century hereafter be known as the ‘Age of Anger and Resentment‘?

Anger with a smile

The confidentiality clause I signed when I went into therapy was that I was allowed to share incidents that impinged upon me directly, and without revealing identities, of course. So I’m sharing one today — had a really interesting session earlier where I found myself telling off the new guy for appropriating my narratives without sharing any of his! Mars direct in Leo?! Or according to Elsa P.:

The Moon in Aries conjuncts Venus while it squares Saturn and Pluto and your average woman is deeply pissed and frustrated. I don’t know what to say but best not poke her… or best poke her.

Ha! She’s definitely describing me today.

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Mars retrograde in Leo: It’s clobberin’ time!

I am finding it really interesting that Mars retrograde doesn’t necessary mean that the Martian anger turns inward or goes away. Perhaps it is the Leonine need for self-expression, planetary retrograde or not. I’m glad to note that other pro-astrologers have pointed this out: for example, astrobarry writes about waking up ‘enraged’, and Julie Demboski writes that:

For everyone, the retrograde will bring forward issues of the ‘I am,’ particularly in terms of where we ’shine’ in the life. We will examine our own personal effectiveness, especially in how our Beingness serves (or fails) to bring us attention and interaction in the world. We’ll be acutely aware that we’re on stage in our own lives; the retrograde will make us ask, ‘Who’s the star of the play?’

Maybe because Mars is now in retrograde squaring my natal Chiron in Aries (Mars-ruled), and trine my Ascendant, and the anger is triggered by the Chirotic wound to the self, but as much as I try to be reasonable (see previous post), sometimes the universe keeps throwing you curve balls until the situation gets an appropriate response. And sometimes, that appropriate response might be an angry one.

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New Moon in my 1st house: Introducing Saturn (and Pluto) Girl

Mystic Medusa has been referring to Saturn Girl, a comic book character from the 1950s that was revived in the 1990s, as an archetype to model ourselves against as we learn the lessons of Saturn’s transit through Libra in the next two and the half years. I’m borrowing that reference today to address some new moon revelations.

The recent New Moon in Sagittarius occurred in my 1st house of self (see astrogrrl’s ‘The New Moon in Houses’), followed shortly by transiting Venus across my Ascendant squaring Uranus in Pisces in near my IC. The news I encountered was unexpected but it helped crystallise something.

I wrote last year about a re-encounter with an ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended in 2002. I wrote that he had tried to re-kindle a cyber-sexual relationship which I’d played along with for a time but put a stop to when I failed to establish and communicate proper boundaries (this will have to be my Saturn in Libra lesson for the next two years). That hasn’t stopped him from trying every few months or so — each time I’ve ignored the messages, always fearful of my capacity for angry words, always believing (naively) that because I keep my space open, people ‘ought to’ respect it.

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Projection: Channelling by proxy

stepford_wives More thoughts on being projected on. (Note: I am aware that this doesn’t absolve me from my own projections, but that’s not the subject of today’s topic).

I was musing the last time about MV reading deception into what, to me, are neutral requests or statements. There is no better time than while Mercury is retrograde in Gemini to try and review this process.

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Right speech

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This post is about a year and a half late, but better late than never.

I struggle with Right Speech, and while I can never hope to speak always calmly and kindly, I was looking for a way to trigger a reminder to myself and catch the cycle out earlier whenever the urge to speak in haste or in anger arose.

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Time to practise what I preach

758221_baby__goats Reassessing what I value must include extending those values to others.

If there is anything Mercury in Gemini values, it is the power of words.

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Negotiating with gremlins

Gremlins poster Why do we negotiate with gremlins?

This phrase popped into my head as I was trying to explain to a friend why I thought it was unhealthy to give all the bullies and bastards in our lives (and especially at work) so much power over our space and time that staying angry at them ultimately prevents us from nurturing what nourishes us.

Just think about that old apocryphal tale, but one we all recognise, of the man who gets yelled at by his boss, goes home and yells at his wife, who yells at their kid, who yells at their dog, who growls at the doll. The chain of negativity, set off by one bully, affects a string of others, only stopping because the last link in the chain is inanimate. Imagine an alternate chain where the man leaves the bullying to the bully, comes home and kisses his wife, who smiles at their child, who tickles their dog, who nuzzles the doll.

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The algebra of apology, or thoughts on the Libra Full Moon

Afterimage I meant to blog the second part of ‘Sex and Zen‘, but it will have to wait. Something more immediate has come up in the shadow of the full moon in Libra tomorrow (on the 20th or 21st of March, depending on which part of the world you live in).

Full moons bring issues to fruition, completion, or peaks. In the sign of Libra, the balance scales, the adjudicator and the peacemaker, this full moon is set to highlight issues of fairness, justice, and relations with other people. In the words of Lisa Dale Miller:

A Full Moon in Libra asks each of us to practice one particular relational skill: listening attentively with an open heart, an open mind, and without interruption or feedback. What exactly will we be listening for? Hopefully we can each attend to the voices of All Our Relations. This includes every living thing, on all planes of existence, on this planet, in our solar system, in our galaxy, and all throughout the multiplicitous universe. Think of this day as an invitation to enter into a sacred circle with every one and every thing you encounter. Interrupt less, listen more, and learn from every word, every movement, each intimation, and every action. With the light of the Full Moon making all things knowable, it is our job to open ourselves wide and take in all of life: the joy, the pain, the suffering, the ecstasy, the extraordinary, the ordinary, the pure, the defiled, the ignorance and intelligence.

A recent, and recurrent, encounter (unsurprisingly dating back to when the Moon entered Libra in early November 2007), is forcing me to face up to issues of limits, boundaries, and fair representation of self as it relates to others. Can we accept how others see us, even if that representation seems false? If truth lies in competing perspectives, can we assert one truth of ourselves against the perceived falsehood of another? Where do we draw the line at what is an acceptable truth, and what is not? Where is the line between abuse and a silent plea for help? Between the abuser and the abused? Which is which? What is the ideal balance between tolerance and self-preservation, compassion and withdrawal from cruelty?

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Stand-by / by-stand

Can we stop our buttons being pushed? Meditation helps me catch myself out before the situation escalates, but can I stop the button being pushed in the first place? We can’t stop the push-er, but can we stop being the pushed? Can we drain the power and render the button inert? Can we be by-standers to our anger and annoyance instead of stand-by-ers?

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The lies we tell ourselves

I had a meeting with my boss recently, details of which will, by necessity, remain sketchy. However, one of the things we did discuss was back pay (about 4 months worth) which has been owed to me for nearly two years. After two years of promising that something will be sorted out, nothing has. And in that last meeting she said there is nothing more she can do if Human Resources won’t cooperate.

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The beginning and end of all things

I’ve been on another anime kick, and spent the weekend watching Escaflowne. In it, there is a lesson the hero learns — calm the rage in your heart and the dragon won’t attack. Amazing how many life lessons can be learned from cartoons. That, I am learning, is a key lesson in Zen. The dragon, of course, is an easy metaphor for all that we fear, and all that we rage against because we fear.

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